Well. Even I thought I may have fallen of the face of the earth! I think it’s been about 6 or 7 MONTHS since my last post. Life has been busy, to say the least, and I’ve been a little stuck with the eternal-winter-in-a-new-city blues. Did I mention winter is STILL going on here in Minneapolis? The sun made a 5-second appearance today–in the middle of April. I’m starting to question whether my children getting to be closer to their grandparents was worth leaving the bloom of spring in Nashville. (Love you, mom and dad!)
Anyway, I’m sitting here thinking about money. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I’m trying to figure out why.
Here’s the thing: right now, my husband and I are making more money than I’ve ever seen in one year. And, I want MORE.
I feel like the greediest ungrateful Scrooge for even having that thought, and yet, I cannot. shake. this. desire.
I’ve been reading about the enormous and enlarging gap between the mega-rich and the middle class, and how 30 years ago, even the “poor” people generally had enough to get by and to have a somewhat decent standard of living. The salaries that CEO’s were making were a reasonable ratio above their subordinates, and they weren’t given multi-million dollar exit bonuses when everything went to hell in a handbasket. I don’t know if I’m viewing the past with rose-colored glasses, but it seemed like there was more wealth to share and less to hoard.
I am being brutally honest here when I say “I want a bigger piece of that pie!” I’m wondering how, in this climate, I can advance in my career in a company I’ve given almost 20 years of my life to. I’m wondering if it’s time to re-launch Embrace the Wobble in the frozen north. I’m wondering where my first million dollars (all at one time) will come from?
I”m also wondering how can I take the risks I suspect are necessary to get me there? How can I leave the nest of my comfort zone without putting my family in a tough spot? I’m wondering if I am a terrible human being for reaching a point where it is no longer enough to know that I work in a non-profit with a good mission and a fabulous team? ( I mean, a good mid-western native takes the crumbs and is THANKFUL, for Godsakes.) Why, why, why, is this no longer enough?
And here’s the really funny part. My husband is an amazing accountant. He’s worked so hard to get where he is in his second career, and is currently studying his ass off for the CPA exam. He is also getting paid about 30% more than I am after 2 years in his position, when I have been in my position for almost 20 years. Thankfully, he is very cute and a good cook, so I don’t sour-grape about our salary gap too much, and of course, it’s not his fault at all. It makes me wonder, though, about whether we magnetize ourselves to jobs that reflect how much we value our own skills and expertise. Maybe I have not been valuing my profesional SELF enough to attract a higher compensation. Who’s to say?
Truth be told, it’s only been recently that I have felt ready for the increased responsibility that comes with a bigger paycheck in my line of work. I have a hard time being patient when I decide I want something. I really do have an outstanding boss who seems committed to helping me advance after building a bit of clout in this new place. I know these things take time, and that moving means startng over, even if not all the way back at square one.
I guess I’m really sitting in the soup. It never fails that where ever I go, I take myself with me. Now that I’m finding my feet and getting comfortable in this new place, all the questions that I was asking of myself and my life in Nashville are starting to float to the surface here in Minneapolis.
At any rate, I say all these things and I wonder if anyone else has been here? (Answer: of course they have….I’m just begging to hear about it!) If you’ve figured it out, for crying out loud, share your wisdom. What are your financial Wobbles? What risks have you taken? What are your regrets? What are your triumphs? Was it worth Wobbling?
Here’s a pic or two of the reasons I want to do more, make more, achieve more.
Embrace The Wobble 