Right now I’m hearing Pink Floyd in my head. “Money, it’s a gas….grab that cash with both hands and make a stash…” These last couple of weeks, I’ve found myself finally getting past some very old energy around money. Maybe some of you can relate to some of my stuff. Definitely weigh in in the comments with your own Money Wobble!
My whole life, I’ve been on the edge of the money spotlight. Many members of my extended family are what I would consider to be wealthy—large homes, new cars, vacations, sports, dinners out, designer clothing, climbing up the hierarchy of their offices, or creating their own wealth through entrepreneurship. They appear (at least on Facebook) happy, well-adjusted, active, fun-loving, accomplished, and good-looking. They look like they have it all figured out. This is what I think about people with money. I have also over the years told myself that people with money are also selfish, snobby, entitled, rude, insufferable, and mean. To say the least, my relationship with money has, until very recently, been a jumbled, convoluted mess. I want money and all the fun it brings, as well as the chance to do good with it, but I push it away with my negative thinking about “People Who Have Money”.
Before I get excommunicated from my clan, let me be clear that I definitely love my family and friends, and they’ve all worked really hard for what they have. They’ve also been very generous with their resources, providing a place for me to crash when I visit (in one case with an infant with an ear infection who kept everyone awake all week. I spilled antibiotics on their carpet to boot), or even a place to live for several weeks in their spa-like Minnesota home while we waited for the closing date on our own home to come around. Plus, we got some amazing giveaways from those same relatives when they completed their own move! The people I surround myself with are kind, generous souls regardless of the financial wealth they possess. I’m proud that I have such an amazing circle.
Somehow, my immediate family missed the wealthy gene. Money was a bit of a mystery to me growing up…..we lived in a large house that used to be my grandparents’ home…..my parents worked hard to have us live there, but still came up short a lot. So, sometimes, we appeared to have money but really there were times when I know my parents wondered where the grocery money was going to come from that week. The car was old, and the next one was a hand-me-down from grandparents. My dad drove a beater truck that required a screw driver wedged into the 3-on-the-tree shifter in order to work. Good times.
My friends all judged me based on our home, so I appeared “rich”, even though there was a ton of financial stress. My parents worked hard, but never seemed to get ahead. Mom and Dad worked in “regular” jobs for a number of years, and then they both created their own businesses. Some years were better than others, but for a number of reasons, neither of them ever hit explosive business growth while I was growing up.
Ironically, because of some of our hardships, I got a lot of good money skills from both parents, but also inherited a lot of conflicting messages. One of my skills is taking risks and doing what I feel called to do instead of just putting in hours at a “job”. By their example, my parents showed me that it IS possible to do what you love and still eat–maybe not lobster and caviar–but one can certainly live and have great contentment on tater tot casserole.
Another great skill I have, thanks to my parents, is being able to do a lot with a little. This has helped me budget effectively in the workplace and at home. I can also throw myself at financial adversity with all I have and manage to come out on my feet. However, for all the strength I have to overcome a challenge—-to survive financially, I feel so much less comfortable with thriving—with huge success. Like perhaps it will change me and I will become what I fear: selfish, entitled, mean, or rude.
I recently found out that my negative preconceptions about wealthy people are not even MINE. I have another set of grandparents (on my Mom’s side) who played this tape over and over—-they were also entrepreneurs, but were careful not to provide too much of a luxury product because they wanted “regular” people to always be able to come to their rustic fishing resort. If a well-off family DID stay as guests, my grandparents were known to make comments like “Wow! Those folks are so nice you’d never guess how much money they have!”
That message permeated my mother’s upbringing, and coupled with the wealth on my father’s side, it’s little wonder I ended up with such a mixed financial coin purse.
What is amazing to me is how hard it is to overcome your financial legacy. I mean, it goes both ways. The wealthy tend to stay that way for the most part. The struggling tend to hold onto the struggle. I know the latter has been me for a long while now.
Today, I am finally ready to change that. I know that the negative message about wealth has never been mine, so it’s time I let it go. I’m learning how to ask to be paid what I am worth (because we offer a FANTASTIC product that our students love), to pay my staff as much as I possibly can, and to create earning power for others as I explore what that means to me. I am also learning to be discerning in who I choose to work with, and to support other local business owners on a similar path whenever possible.
See, I don’t want to gain wealth all by myself. I need teachers along the way and lots of company, but I truly believe in the Law of Attraction, and I’m willing to do the inner work of creating space for wealth. I also believe there is enough for everyone. Even in the face of a widening financial “gap”, I choose not to take part in the gap. I feel a shift beginning to happen. And the Universe does too. The same day I had the revelation that my money messages have never really been mine, two unexpected and lucrative clients popped up and purchased training packages!
So I think there is hope. After all, it’s so much more fun to write your own story. And isn’t that story so much better when the main character gets to drive a great (environmentally responsible) car and go to Disney once in a while?
Take care Wobblers,