Hi there Wobblers:
On my mind tonight is a question: How good are you at doing anger?
Reason I ask is, I haven’t always been good at anger, and even now I continue to evolve with my ownership of this emotion.
Growing up in Minnesota (a “good”, predominantly Lutheran state for many years, heh, heh), I never learned to do anger. Instead, what I learned to do was simmer. We simmered on all kinds of hurts and wounds that were annoying growing up. I watched my parents and much older sister simmer on relationship stuff and work wounds. I grew up and did the same simmer with partners and professions, as well as loss and trauma and grief.
With all this simmering going on around issues that made our family truly angry, the anger got transmuted into some really bad stuff—resentment, health issues, chronic pain, and of course the classic Midwestern sideways anger, Passive-Aggression. There is now a T-shirt that proudly bears our state motto: “Keep Minnesota Passive-Aggressive! (or not, whatever you think is best.)” If you are from around here, you totally get that t-shirt and are rolling your eyes at its dead-on accuracy. I’m ordering mine tomorrow, just saying.
When we talk ourselves out of anger or pass it off as something else or “just get over it”, anger erodes us, because the wounds that caused the anger never heal. Anger smashed down in our bodies has the power to turn us into addicts, victims, rage-aholics, and physical and mental health disaster areas.
Unless it doesn’t.
There are ways to have anger and not be a total d*ckhead. There are ways to have anger and not feel like it will swallow us whole. We can learn to use this emotion to harness our energy and motivation in ways to help us take real care of ourselves, heal the wounds that caused the anger in the first place, and step into authentic power without harming anyone else along the way–least of all, ourselves.
This week I will be leading an anger workshop. During this evening, I will be taking a group of women through some creative and expressive movement, artwork, and sharing exercises to help us observe and befriend our anger, and to practice a number of ways to express it openly, honestly–ways that help us champion our own self-care without needing to hurt others in the process. Anger is NOT a thing to be feared. We are absolutely allowed to have anger. Come and befriend your anger this week. See how this emotion can drive us to new levels of healing and self-connection. Register here. Space is limited, and you might need this workshop a lot.